*Dusting off my soapbox* and this will probably be all over the place because I am very passionate about it. These are my personal opinions.
This is a huge sore subject for me. I have a daughter in that prime age right now. Do I let her shop at Victoria Secret? Absolutely not! Do I let her wear thong underwear? Absolutely not! My daughter does not even wear spaghetti straps without either a tank top to go under or a cute little jacket or crop sweater to go over it. She either wears shorts or capris under skirts (yes still at 13). Luckily for me my daughter CHOOSES to dress modestly. The media is horrible as well as retail. Why market push up bras to preteens?? NO NO NO! As my husband pointed out when I commented on them at Target; he said "Well somebody is buying them and we know it isn't the kids holding the money." Why would mother's want to sexualize their daughter's that way. Nobody asks for their kids to be kidnapped or raped, but when you dress them to portray them as older or provocative...it attracts the sickos. The worse case I have seen this as was at a Miley Cyrus concert (we bought the tickets for Elexis 11 months before the concert, she didn't even like her by the time the concert rolled around). Little girls were paraded around with high heels, very low cut shirts, skirts, and full makeup. I am talking 5 and 6 year olds. And the moms were proud of this??? Girls that are in the media today are too skinny and too sexy. I like girls to look like girls. They have their whole life to be women.
In our house we choose words like healthy and active. We don't use the F word. Too many little girls go around calling themselves fat because they hear their moms saying the same thing about themselves. I am very proactive in making sure my daughter has a good self confidence and self value. We tell her she doesn't need a boyfriend to be popular or successful. We tell her that brains are way more important than beauty. We never want her to dumb herself down to get a boy to like her. We tell her to embrace her smartness. Yes, we tell her she is pretty but we follow that right up with you are smart and talented too. I love that Elexis has good values and morals that she has instilled in herself. She has self imposed rules that she follows that are good. I really just hope that she continues to live by these and we nurture it as much as we can. At Elexis' second musical; the lead girl was about 13 at the time. Her parents were sitting behind us and we heard the mom tell the dad "Camille is going to make someone an excellent trophy wife someday." I don't care if she was joking or not. Kids hear that and that is where they get their self worth. I was sickened by that comment.
The media and retail need to let girls be girls. They need to use natural girls in advertising and stop marketing sexy clothing toward children. If it is not available, they will not know it exists until they get older. Parents also need to step up and take a stand too. Stop buying the crap!
This doesn't just pertain to girls either. Media is causing boys to have image issues as well. They are basically marketing that boys are not successful unless they have muscles or a certain brand of t-shirt, or a jerk towards women. Both girls and boys need positive role models. Those that have initiative and drive to be work hard and be successful. There is too much you tube syndrome of "look at me, I want to be popular or famous".
Ok, I will step off my soapbox. I will end with saying the media and retail piss me off when it comes to kids being kids. Parents protect your children that is your job!
Photo Day 22: A cool drink
Yeah, I would rather show you the pictures of the fruit I took this morning. It could be made into a smoothie later (when I remember to buy yogurt or juice).
Yummy looking fruit!. Your post is 100% right on. However, it is 100% the fault of parents who allow their daughters to dress this way. Harley and I go round and round all the time. It is a constant struggle when all the other girls have been dressing like that for years I WILL stand my ground!
ReplyDeleteI will stand my ground too. It is the parent's fault. Media and retail just feed into the lack of parenting.
Deletefruit - yum!! i think you have to do what is right for you own kid & i am thankful that you do it ... i agree each family & child has to be dealt with - in the family (parent) thoughts & feelings are all going to be so different. but i think that is why i am so good (hope that does not sound weird??!) but it think if your parents (which mine did so) take a big roll in your every day upbringing you will be a good kid, have a good idea of this & that. not saying that there are issues within me & other but for the most part i am a-ok. i wonder why it is so different for men & women (boys & girls) ... wish that would change?!?! ( ;
ReplyDeleteYes, every family is different. I'm glad your parents took a big roll in your upbringing. That is a huge thing. Know what your kids are doing and wearing and hanging out with. My dad was always in my business. I got annoyed, but now I understand.
DeleteDude, I so agree. I can't STAND the idea of these girls (GIRLS) wearing shorts that their butt cheeks hang out of at 7, 8, 11, 13, 16... and then taking PICTURES in said outfits posting them all over Instagram! My son's ex girlfriend is EXTREMELY self absorbed with the whole idea of being desired, thought of as pretty, etc. She takes pictures in her short shorts and sports bras and posts them on IG. It sickens me to the core.
ReplyDeleteI'm not so bad about girls wearing bras because once their nips start to develop, they DO need those covered up (for modesty reasons, too) but not with those sexy silky bras, just one to cover the nips. I have little boys and I've heard them talking about the girls and how weird it looks to them (they think it's abnormal) LOL...
I can say that I'm quite glad that I have boys... the media is wicked to girls/teens/women!
When girls need to wear bras; yes, buy them some bras. I bought the sport bra type for Elexis when she first started developing. I am talking mom's buying their 9 and 10 year olds push up bras (I was listening to the radio the other day and it was one of those listener discussions because apparently its a thing right now).
DeleteElexis already knows that if she posts anything inappropriate on any kind of social media or text, she will lose her phone and pretty much all internet access. She also knows that I will delete any 'friend' that posts inappropriate stuff.
Hahahahaha!! I love your boys. That's awesome!
YES! Thank you. It makes me want to vomit every time I see some kid (not even a pre-teen yet) dressed up like a little hooker! Disgusting. My mom made me wear shorts under skirts/dress 'til I was 18 (cuz she was still in charge of me) and I STILL wear them! Nobody's upskirting me thankyouverymuch. Seriously? Trophy wife? That wasn't even on my radar 'til I was much older. I've always had body image issues, but they compete with the fact that I know I'm smart and not obese or ugly. It's a seesaw. lol
ReplyDeleteThere are some sicko perverts out there. I will not serve my daughter on a platter for them. Elexis will probably be one of those shorts under the skirt wearers. True story: I was in 7th grade and I was wearing a skirt, a boy tried to take a picture from underneath without my consent. He got kicked very hard. That was with film. Now days its instant and digital. Scary times. The trophy wife comment really pissed me off. Of course if you saw the mom and the dad you would know exactly where that comment came from.
DeleteGorgeous pictures! Makes me want to eat them right now, but I'll have to settle for a peach because I don't have any berries lol!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with you on the whole media thing. My daughter is only 5 right now and she is constantly begging me for dresses, heels and make-up! I rarely even wear make-up, never heels and this is the first summer I've ever worn a dress since Sidney was born. I really don't know where she gets it from. We don't even have cable, she has no idea who Miley Cyrus is, or any other celebrity.
Great job raising your daughter on good values, and helping her to have good self esteem! It's so important, and difficult to do these days.
-Cole
Thanks Cole! I have missed you. Unfortunately kids see other kids and other women they think are glamorous. I just hope my daughter continues to have her values and self esteem. It is hard to compete with so much outside influences.
DeleteI hate seeing young girls wearing clothes and shoes that wouldn't even be appropriate on an adult. You have to wonder what type of women they will become. Will they know how to dress properly for an interview?
ReplyDeleteI can't believe a mother would make a comment like that about her daughter. What a sad shame.
Most kids now days DONT know how to dress for an interview. I see kids all the time wearing jeans to an interview. I don't care if you are applying for fast food or Walmart; always dress up. Again, it's that whole false sense of entitlement.
DeleteI, as a mother, cannot fathom saying that about my daughter.