Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go
Letting go is hard. I confess, I struggle with it a lot. I tend to hold on to anger the longest. I tell myself to let it go, but then I find myself thinking about it a few days later. I keep a journal filled with my thoughts on the situation. I also read my Bible and pray a lot.
Contrary to what people think of me (mainly my real life friends and family) because I am a very extroverted, will talk to anyone and make friends; I am a very private person. I don't really talk about my feelings a lot because it leaves me vulnerable. When I leave myself vulnerable, people take advantage and I get hurt. When I get hurt, I tend to hold on to that hurt and shut myself off from that person.
I can say my biggest success in letting go is talking to my dad after 9 years of being estranged. He didn't meet my daughter until she was 7. It was when my brother was sent to Iraq that I decided that the hurt he caused me wasn't worth the regret I would maybe have later in life if I didn't just forgive and move on. I have a good relationship with him now. It just took letting go and healing to begin.
All I can really say; for me, letting go is hard but I am trying. I can say that I am confident I have let go ever having a well kept house and being the perfect wife and mom. There is no such thing. I am okay with being the mom that makes my kid laugh on a daily basis (hard to do when they are teenagers...lol).
This is part of the Blog Everyday in May Challenge found at Story of my life.