Strong Woman

I took a blog hiatus because my life got flipped upside down.  Things are now settling down and I feel I can talk about them.  I blogged about my dad passing away on March 1.  April is always a busy month for me anyway because of Elexis' birthday, being a test monitor, Easter and such.  On April 24, my mom got another shock.  She got a call from her neighbor while she was at work.  Her neighbor told her that her house was on fire and the fire department had been called.  My mom lived out in the country.  It's not exactly down the street from the nearest fire department.  By the time my mom got home, her entire back deck was gone (where the fire started) and her kitchen was gone.  Half the living room was close to being gone.  The fireman asked her what the most important thing she wanted out of there and she said she wanted my dad (he had been cremated).  My mom broke down when the fireman brought him and his hat and glasses he always wore to her.  Her house was a total loss.  What didn't get destroyed by the fire, was destroyed by the smoke and water and fireman having to find the hotspots.  She lost both of her cats in the fire.  Luckily, her dog was outside and was spared.  Had my dad still been alive, he probably would have died in the fire.  His spot was on fire.  He was on full time oxygen and the tanks had just gotten picked up the week before the fire.

I tell you this because my definition of a strong woman has been redefined.  I have always known my mom was a strong person, but God really has put her to the test.  First her husband, then their house they had moved into the second year of their marriage.  My mom has continued putting one foot in front of the other.  I am very proud of the person she is.  She came to stay with me after the fire.  Together we had to inventory (from memory) all the contents of her house.  We have dealt with the insurance company (which was awesome, very quick to respond and issue checks).  We have made decisions on what she should do whether it be rebuild out there or move closer to the city.  She ultimately made the decision to move closer to the city (we planned on getting her house and land ready to sell by October anyway).  We have looked at houses and ultimately buy one.  She now lives a mile from me.  I know my mom needs me and I am very happy to be there for her.  She is now making a new normal.

My mom and dad had an annual party.  Sometimes it was in July (for my anniversary on July 4th) and sometimes in August for my dad's birthday.  Yesterday, three weeks after she moved into her house, we held her annual party.  Her new house had an ice cream bar in half of the garage so that played a huge part in the party.  I am very happy to see her enjoy something.  We celebrated her new house, my dad's memorial, and my nephew's birthday (my brother is down from New York).  We had about 40 people over to the house and had an awesome time.

My mom is going to be okay.  She is going to have bad days, good days and days she doesn't even want to get out of bed.  But, she will because she is a strong woman and I am proud to be her daughter.

On a side note: Another very strong woman I know, Paula, is being put to the test right now.  I just want her to know I am thinking about her and praying for and all her family.

My mom and her sisters, brother and sister in law

My best friend of 25 years, my mom and me.

The ice cream bar.  

It's been a month

It's been a month since my dad passed away.  It is still really hard for me to wrap my brain around.  I often pick up the phone and think "I haven't talked to dad in a while" or "Oh, I need to tell dad something".  And then the sadness sets in.  Yesterday, I was by his work (before he retired in January), and I said to myself "Ooh, I could stop in and surprise dad at work".  Except, I couldn't.  I really miss him a lot.  I miss hearing him say "Are y'all going to come out?" or "What's my baby girl doing?"  But really what I miss most is his laugh.  I really wish I could hear it out loud again.  I can close my eyes and still hear him laughing or saying these things.  My mom still has three voice messages from him saved on her phone.  All three of them coincidentally involve being at Walmart.  When we went to pick up his ashes, my siblings and I all got a tiny urn that has part of him in it.  I claimed the smile.  We knew my mom got his heart.  He sits on my mantle next to my father in law.  I know that they are together in Heaven discussing motorcycles and other guys stuff.  I know that I will one day get to see him again, but right now it is just really hard.  

I talk to my mom everyday.  I worry about her.  Right now she is still in "I have to get all of the paperwork side of things done".  I am afraid of what is going to happen when she doesn't have that distraction anymore.  I told her that I would like to go to a grief support group sometime soon.  I think it would be good for both of us.  I am going to try to upload his memorial video to Youtube so I can share it with those who want to see what a full life my dad led.  

A little background of my dad:  He was born in 1951 at 6 months premature.  He weighed a pound and 12 oz.  He was tiny.  The doctors thought he was dead so they didn't suction anything.  Because of that he was blind in one eye and deaf in one ear.  He was a miracle from the beginning.

Sunday Stealing

The 20Q Meme

1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you? I like the words
2. What's your favorite kind of cake? I don't like to eat cake; but I like to bake swirl cakes best.
3. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them?  I do both.  When I make it is usually a baked good.  
4. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? What's your favorite cereal.
5. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? I have both disabled; but spam email sometimes filters through.
6. What was the best party you've ever been to? I went to an awesome halloween party once.  I won 3rd place in my Princess Fiona costume.  I got beat out by a pregnant Betty (from the Flintstones)
7. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet? Too loud (I have sensitive hearing)
8. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second? I take the chance.  
9. Do you wish cellphone etiquette was a required class upon purchasing one? Absolutely!
10. What's the most messed up food combination that you've had that was actually good? Pepper on my apples
11. What's one of your most random pet peeves (something that annoys you)? scraping a fork across a plate...eek!
12. When is the last time you had home cooking? Today.  I love to cook.  I very rarely eat out.
13. If you could be a fictional character from a book who would you choose? Ramona from the Ramona Quimby series. 
14. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose? Friends
15. If you could be any animal or creature for one day, what would it be? Sloth...they don't do anything
16. What's your favorite girl's name? Currently, if I had a little girl I would name her Brittyn Rae after mine and my husband's dad's middle names.
17. What's your favorite boy's name? Dakota
18. What's your supermarket of choice? Crest (a local chain) and Walmart Neighborhood Market
19. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? no brainer...Minnie Mouse
20. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? I am so boring.  I don't get anything from the concession.  

Sunday Stealing

1. Have you ever pretended to read a book to impress someone? I don't think so.

2. Have you ever pretended not to read a book in order to avoid embarrassment? Maybe romance novels when I was in high school

3. What’s your worst reading habit? Sometimes reading the ending because the suspense is killing me.

4. What book are you most proud of having read? War and Peace...hahaha just kidding.  Probably Great Expectations because I made it all the way through it.

5. Do you buy most of your books new, second-hand, electronically or borrow via the library? Yes, all of the above

6. Have you ever pretended to watch a film to impress someone? Nope

7. Have you ever pretended not to have watched a film in order to avoid embarrassment? Let's pretend that I don't own the Britany Spears movie Crossroads

8. What movie have you watched the most? Probably either The Breakfast Club or Grease

9. What film do you tell people is your favorite ever? Beauty and the Beast

10. What film is actually your favorite ever? Beauty and the Beast

11. What time do you usually wake up and get up in the mornings? 6:30

12. Do you wake naturally or does something/someone wake you up? A little bit of both.  I usually wake up before the alarm, but I drift in and out until the alarm goes off.

13. How many snooze alarms do you need? I think it is 2 or 3 before my daughter comes in.

14. What’s your routine on a workday/work at home morning? wake up, fix breakfast, get dressed, take Elexis to school

15. What’s your routine on a non-workday morning? wake up, get on the computer, family wakes up, fix breakfast

Catching up ...

I wanted to join the challenge that Kwizgiver put out.  I am having to play a little bit of catch up due to unforeseen circumstances.  So here goes.

1.  What funny happened today?  Sadly, this is the day my dad passed away.  We did get to swap some good memories of him that made us laugh.

2.  Who did you talk to today? A lot of family and friends.  Including my brother who hasn't spoken to me in 3 years.  

3.  Describe your outfit today.  Jeans, long sleeve t-shirt, light jacket, heavy jacket

4.  What time do you normally go to bed? Here lately it has been 3-4 a.m.  I've had a hard time sleeping. 

5.  Link to a current song you like.

6.  Six lies you tell yourself.
1.  You will go to the gym tomorrow. (here lately)
2.  You will go to bed early tonight.
3.  He's not really gone.
4.  My daughter NEEDS a new jacket. (what about the 15 she already has...)
5.  I am not going to buy any blue-rays this month. (Catching Fire is out)
6.  I am not addicted to Strawberry Fields tic-tacs.

7.  What movie do you want to watch next? Frozen (I could watch this video again and again)





Phew...all caught up.

Sunday Stealing (on Friday)

Let's go!!!

This one's an oldie but goodie from the archives!  

1) Candle scents this month: Blueberry Cheesecake
2) What I read this month: Divergent, Insurgent, in the middle of Alligiant
3) Top three songs I was drawn to: Happy by Pharell, Counting Stars by One Republic, Pompeii by Bastille
4) Movies I saw: Ride Along, About Last Night, Frozen, Lego Movie
5) Favorite tv moments of the month: Closing ceremonies of the Olympics
6) Something yummy I made: Sesame Chicken, Oreo red velvet brownies
7) Restaurants where I ate: Took my daughter to Subway does that count?
8) Five things I am loving this month: That it is almost Spring, electric blanket, remote start on my car, my nephews, my family
9) A goal I had for this month: to run 2 miles
10) This month I looked forward to: Spring
11) Something I want to remember about this month: My daughter's orchestra concert
12) A photo I took this month: 

Hard Week

Last Saturday my dad for 27 years passed away.  It was kind of sudden and totally unexpected.  We are still in shock and getting everything planned.  I will get back to regular blogging in a bit.